May. 31st, 2003

trevorishiding: (upset)
Sometimes, I am an idiot.

Sometimes it feels like I just get so set in ideas that I can't change them. Like, all Slytherins are evil: hello, Seth and Tracey! And all Gryffindors have to brave, and maybe i'm not as much of a chicken as I thought, but i'm still not all that brave. And just... other stuff.

I don't know how i'm going to manage all summer without telling Gran about Kinbrace. I've never kept secrets from Gran! But if she finds out... She'd really never let me out of the house again, except to go back to school probably.

Gran... you know, I used to think the reason she was so protective of me is that she didn't think I was that smart. And I know, since Dad was in Ravenclaw, that I might not seem that smart in comparison. But after Kinbrace... and thinking about the Muggles and hearing Crucio.

Right. Don't want to think about that, but the thing is, I never thought about Gran thinking about it. Maybe... Maybe that's the reason she's like she is. Not that she thinks I couldn't protect myself, but that she doesn't think about it terms of me , at all.

I used to think I knew what I wanted to do with my life after Hogwarts. I was going to grow magical plants, you know, be a supplier for shops and things. Somewhere far out of the way, where nothing ever happens. I'm starting to wonder if that's really me, or Gran talking, though.

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trevorishiding

April 2004

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